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Change How You Look At Loss With Tom DeBlass
Black Belt DeBlass Says Losses Will Happen, But We Must Own Them And Not Be Just OK With Them
ADCC and UFC veteran Tom DeBlass took to his social media today to address the notion of loss and how he expects those around him to approach the idea of loss. For DeBlass, loss is an inevitable consequence of competition. The longer one competes, the more likely that it will be that the person will feel the sting of loss.
It is how one approaches that sting and the steps that person takes afterwards that make the difference between those that are successful in BJJ and in life and those who are not. For him, it is important to face the loss, to accept the loss and to never say, "It's Okay", because DeBlass would say, it's not okay and by saying that it is a means of softening the sting and not taking full responsibility. From that point forward, the goal needs to be to look at the situation and work on areas that need to be worked on.
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By saying that the loss was okay, you are not taking the proper mindset to make growth and improvement possible. This same mindset shift can be applied to anything you do in your life. It's not "okay" to not achieve your goals once you set them. You must take action and get back on the path towards achieving what you set for yourself, whether it's losing weight, getting through school, or whatever your particular goal is.
Check out Tom's message to Facebook earlier today for yourself:
In our group chat, when you lose in a competition you aren't coddled and told it's ok. You aren't told "ahh it happens don't worry!" No, you are told truth. You better damn well worry. And guess what, it's all your fault. The ones that achieve any kind of greatness take full responsibility. They also work tirelessly to fix the mistakes that they made. No it's not ok to lose. Will it happen? Yes. Should we be ok with it, no. Every loss I have ever taken still pisses me off until this day. Winning doesn't make me a better or worse person, but any victory I have obtained happened because I always gave full attention to my weaknesses and worked hard to fix them. If Gordon Ryan lost in the finals of absolute he would have come back to so much abuse in our chat, the crap talk from strangers wouldn't even compare.--Tom DeBlass Social Media
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DeBlass Action Plan For Future Success
So no matter what the scenario there are some key things we can do to make sure we set ourselves up for future success.
Own the Loss
You lost. Accept it. Now what. Always remember that Tom DeBlass also always says that "One victory will erase one thousand losses." Never forget the loss that drives you and keep going until you are victorious.
There are No Excuses
No matter what. The loss is your responsibility. It wasn't the judges, the ruleset, the weight cut or whatever else you might be tempted to point to. The same goes with the lost job opportunity, the missed deadline, and any other scenario. Until you are able to recognize that you are 100% responsible for your situation, whatever that may be, you will always be stunting your potential for success and growth.
Identify Your Weakness and Work Tirelessly On Them
Nobody is perfect, but what sets high-level BJJ practitioners and competitors apart from someone who might not be as successful is that they recognize that no matter what, they are responsible for their own BJJ success and they must work on whatever their weaknesses or mistakes might have been that put them in the position where they lost.
Believe In Yourself and Accept Nothing Less Than Your Best
Being satisfied with anything less than a victory or the best you can achieve is undermining your growth as a competitor, practitioner and as a person. Tom references the losses he's had in his life in the past. It is the thoughts of those losses that drive him far more than any victory he's ever had. You are not a bad person because you suffered a loss, but until you recognize that saying that it's okay to lose stunts your growth as a person and makes you less likely to strive to succeed in the future, you may not reach your ultimate goals.